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25-Mar-2015 04:15 by 7 Comments

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VANCOUVER—Conceding that they would have to go back to the drawing board and start over with a new approach, executives for the fashion brand Lululemon were reportedly furious Tuesday after a focus group left a testing session for a new line of women’s clothing with their self-esteem fully intact.HARTFORD, CT—Saying the incident had forced them to completely rethink their past decisions about the man’s coverage and how they would approach his policy from here on out, Aetna executives reported Thursday that the recent heart attack of longtime plan member Michael Burns was a real wake-up call for the 163-year-old insurance company.

While massive superstores like Walmart and Target have dominated the retail landscape for years, many shoppers are rejecting them in favor of smaller, locally owned shops.After discovering his mother had failed to pay his phone bill from last month, local resident Cormac Flannigan, 29, reminded her Tuesday to “try to be more careful” and “make a point of remembering to do that going forward,” family...With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies.Here are some proposed improvements SACRAMENTO, CA—In an effort to address a hostile work environment, executives at Western Sun Media Consulting reportedly distributed a staff-wide memo Thursday encouraging any women at the company who had experienced sexual harassment to come forward with a resignation letter.MILFORD, CT—As part of the standardized instruction each employee receives before heading out to work in franchises worldwide, a new class of Subway trainees were reportedly assigned their own sandwich cadavers this week to help them learn how to locate and identify the meals’ various internal structures.Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible.

The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content ANN ARBOR, MI—Giving customers the ability to keep tabs on their order through every step of the process, Domino’s Pizza announced Tuesday the release of a new app that lets users track the progress of their food as it moves through the human digestive system.

APPLETON, WI—Shaking his head Monday as the customer selected a length of plastic pipe over a stronger metal alternative and placed it into his shopping cart, local Home Depot sales associate Graham Warner, 57, was reportedly able to tell right away that this was the store patron’s first attempt at making a pipe bomb.

IRVING, TX—Addressing the world’s plant and animal life directly during a press event Friday, officials from Exxon Mobil vowed to bestow lenient treatment on any species that surrendered to the corporation voluntarily.

DAYTON, OH—Throwing the generally positive customer review section into a state of disarray, a contrarian Amazon user reportedly upended the critical consensus Monday by giving a set of three Sunland-brand .99 microfiber bath towels a one-star rating.

LOS ANGELES—Describing the experience as a significant letdown, local diner Eric Tidwell told reporters that the disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings franchise he visited Thursday night failed to live up to the scorn he had long heard about the restaurant.

LOUISVILLE, KY—In an effort to meet the changing demands of its consumers, fast-food chain Kentucky Fried Chicken announced Wednesday that it has begun offering customers the option of purchasing, at a significant discount, a 20-piece box of pre-owned hot wings. Mary Medical Center confirmed that local woman Deliah Zahn gave birth to a healthy black mark on the record of Bayer—manufacturer of the birth control pill Yaz—weighing in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces.