Online dating and self esteem
Online dating and self esteem - tmj 55 online dating
How exactly do you even meet anyone if you aren’t looking?
Will I lock eyes with him at the library while I’m researching just how relationships actually work? I see you’re clutching every book on love ever written.
I find that super intriguing, want to go get a drink? After a while, it’s easy to feel like starting your collection of cats and totally giving up on the idea of ever meeting the right person.
Several times during my dating experiences, I had to shut down my various online dating profiles for a few months and lick my wounds. It often became necessary to stop everything and reflect on why dating experiences had been such abysmal failures. I went on so many dates that I was testing different outfits, different responses to texts, different time frames for everything. I certainly could have won an award for persistence, but why did it still feel like not only were there great people out there, but they were behind some kind of sturdy glass wall?
It takes a lot of determination and/or masochism to keep putting yourself out there when Mr. Without fail, I would eventually put my rose colored glasses back on and try again, inspired by a friend meeting someone new or it being the absolute depths of winter.
My best friend called it “going for another round.” It took me years to realize that I was addicted to the experience of dating itself.
There is a great deal of novelty in meeting new people and experiencing new things with them while clinging to the distant hope that one of them just might click.
The ups and downs were enough to keep me hooked, as I allowed my feelings about myself to be dictated by the opinions of people I barely knew. Somewhere along the way, I had let my ego get completely tied up in these experiences.
I had fallen into the trap of letting my opinions of my failed relationships shape my opinion of myself. While it was often an uncomfortable, awkward, painful, struggle, eventually I was ecstatic when I found a few that seemed to fit.
No wonder I felt horrible and had lots of go-nowhere relationships. Then, just like the lifespan of my favorite bras, the support system failed and the underwire started digging in.
Forget everything except what you are going to do now and do it.” ~William J.
Durant I’m all too aware that dating can feel like a grinding, painful roller coaster to nowhere.
If you’ve hit your head against the wall as many times as I have, you know how frustrating, depressing, and downright disheartening it can be.